10 Crucial Child Safety Topics Our Kids Need Us To Address

Have you ever wondered how to broach one of those critical, yet essential, child safety topics? I mean, how do you talk to a child about inappropriate touching?

And what other dangers should we prepare our children for without creating panic, anxiety, or dismissiveness?

I grew up as a latchkey kid in Southern California in the seventies. Downtown San Diego, to be exact.

Do you know how many perverts are in parked cars or otherwise positioned along the path of a child’s walk home? Way too many. Especially back then, before parents and authorities got wise to the extensiveness of the problem.

By the time I had my own children, I was fanatical about their safety. And not in a good way. I knew I was instilling fear in them, but I didn’t know how not to. 

I wish I had known a better way.

This increased awareness of sexual abuse in children has come with a rise in parental resources for teaching safety to preschoolers. And it’s a good thing. Because how else are we supposed to address the fact that 93% of children molested by the age of eighteen knew their abusers? 

I came across a set of children’s books that really had me do a double take, and not just because the child safety topics were on point:

1. Being at a friend’s house when a sibling is inappropriate
2. Being in a public restroom when a stranger offers unneeded help
3. Being sexually harassed by a friend
4. What to do when your “safe adult” doesn’t believe you
5. How to handle victim blaming
6. How to recognize grooming
7. How to handle coercion from a trusted adult
8. How to handle peer pressure and firearm safety
9. What to do when your friend sends you porn
10. How to find healing after the fact

The subject matter of these stories is undeniably difficult, possibly even triggering for adults who may have had previous traumas. That said, what I appreciated most about these storybooks and something that I wish was available to me when my children were younger, is the guide for parents. This book is jam-packed with child safety tips and is an indispensable resource for parents. 

This post is all about child safety topics our kids need us to address.

Child Safety Awareness

Parents and educators have become well-versed in making sure children are plenty warned to steer clear of strangers. But what I LOVE about this “body boundaries” series of books is the emphasis placed on tuning into our personal alarm system. 

The books describe this alarm system as “Heart Signals.” The characters in the stories, ages 4-12, identify feelings of nervousness, feeling uncomfortable, a pounding heart, or “sick to my stomach” when they encounter dangerous situations.

Kids are then given strategies, through “kid-versations.” These are basically kid-level conversations with their peers to help them recognize and navigate through dangerous situations.

The reflective questions at the end of each book provide conversation points for the parent and child. While the Parent Guide gives some role-play examples to identify how your child would respond. All of this helps to bring awareness about how these situations could develop in their everyday lives.

If you’d like to learn more about how to tune into our built-in alarm system, see my post on The 4 Levels Of Situational Awareness That Could Save Your Life. 

Child Safety Topics

The child safety topics presented in Damsel In Defense’s SAFE Hearts book collection are age appropriate and cover a wide-ranging mix of circumstances.

• “Madison’s Big Brother” is a story about being at a friend’s house when an older sibling wants to kiss. This is a lesson about SAYING NO
• “Julian’s Solo Voyage” is a story of being in a public restroom when a stranger offers unneeded help. This is a lesson about using THE BUDDY SYSTEM
• “My Friend’s New Toy” is a story about what to do when your friend wants to disrobe during a play date. This is a lesson about recognizing TRICKY FRIENDS.
• “Chase’s Champion” is a story about what to do when your “safe adult” doesn’t believe you after you witness an assault. This is a lesson about SAFE ADULTS.
• “Becca’s Best Friend” is a teenage story about when what the victim is wearing comes into question as the provocation for an attack. This is a lesson about VICTIM BLAMING.

(Image: My personal collection of Damsel In Defense’s SAFE Hearts Collection – BUY It Here)

• “A Secret Gift For Grace” is a story of an adult neighbor who offers an irresistible “secret” gift. This is a lesson about how to recognize GROOMING.
• “All-Star Dugout Dreams” is a story of a coach who tries to coerce a player into an unplanned ride home. This is a lesson about COERCION from a trusted adult.
• “Damon’s Dilemma” is a story about a friend who wants to shoot cans in the woods without adult supervision. This is a lesson about FIREARM SAFETY.
• “Shielded Eyes, Shielded Hearts” is a story about when a peer sends sexually explicit content online. This is a lesson about PORNOGRAPHY.
• “Healed Hearts” is a story about finding healing after an assault. This is a lesson about RESTORATION. 

Child Safety Tips For Parents

• Refer to body parts by their anatomical names so children are armed with the correct language to talk about, ask questions or share concerns about those body parts. This also puts a would-be predator on notice that this child is well-informed and likely has open communication with someone at home.
• Talking to kids candidly and routinely about sexual abuse and sexuality keeps these topics very matter-of-fact, making children less likely to feel embarrassed, shamed, or judged.
• Have a code word or phrase your child can say over the phone when they want to be removed from where they are without feeling embarrassed.
• Help your children maintain body boundaries by NOT insisting they hug and kiss relatives just because it’s the expectation at family gatherings. I mean, we can’t tell kids they’re the boss of their bodies if we don’t respect that first. Right?

Safety For Kids

If you think prepping your kids for how to handle inappropriate behavior from loved ones and friends is a bit much, then let’s take a look at the numbers (which are probably lower than the actual incidents, because how many assaults go unreported out of shame or fear?)

(Click here to see more from the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)

• Male abusers of girls average 52 victims each
• Approximately 1 in 4 girls is abused
• Male abusers of boys average 150 victims each
• Approximately 1 in 6 boys is abused
• The FBI predicts that a child has nearly a 25% chance of being molested

What do these perpetrators look like? According to RAINN, America’s largest anti-sexual violence organization, half of the sexual assailants are at least 30 years old, but 15% are minors themselves: 

(Click Here or on Screenshot Images to see more from RAINN)

Warning Signs An Adult Might Be Hurting A Child

According to professionals over at StopItNow.Org, some behaviors to be on the lookout for, especially amongst those “trusted adults” your kids hang out with all day include:

1. The adult doesn’t respect personal boundaries. For example, ignoring non-verbal cues or flat-out disregarding the word “No”  when asked to stop (tickling, touching, teasing, or providing unneeded personal care)
2. The adult doesn’t have age-appropriate relationships. An example would be treating children as peers, rather than fulfilling the role of the adult in the child’s life.
3. Adult confides personal details of their lives to children. Or takes an interest in a child’s sexual development or relationships. 
4. The adult makes sexually explicit comments or jokes around children.
5. The adult gives a child random gifts…Or shares secrets.
6. The adult spends time alone or makes excuses to be alone with children outside of their role in the child’s life.

If you’d like to learn more about the behaviors to watch for when adults are with children, click here to download Stop It Now’s Tip Sheet.

Warning Signs Of Child Abuse

If a child all of a sudden has a marked change in behavior, it’s time to take note. Be on the lookout for some common warning signs of abuse:

• Unexplained bleeding, bruising, or other signs of trauma to the genitals… any blood found on linens, clothes, or underpants should be investigated.
• Signs of a sexually transmitted infection, such as pain, burning, itch, odor, or genital discharge. 
• An abrupt change in behavior or physical appearance.
• Keeping secrets, or quieter than usual.
• Resuming behaviors such as bedwetting or thumb-sucking. Or new issues such as nightmares or unexplained headaches, stomach aches, or other physical problems.
• Not wanting to be left with, or spend time with a particular individual, especially if this is new.
• Waning interest in friends, school, family, or activities.
• Self-harming behaviors

As you can see, helping our children recognize dangerous situations, and providing them with the tools and language to critically think their way out of those situations, is imperative in keeping them safe. 

This post was all about child safety topics our kids need us to address.